Healing a  Relationship

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"So, What's Alanon?"

by Steve Roberts

 © Steve Roberts - All Rights reserved   

Here's a quick note about "Alanon."

Alanon is the sister organization to Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). In this country, AA and related self help groups like Narcotics Anonymous are some of the most successful paths for alcoholics and addicts to  seek recovery. They are free and very effective. The reason why they  work is because they enable people to get past the shame associated with these problems. Everyone in the group has the same problem,  acknowledges it and is super-supportive of the new comer just getting started.

Alanon, on the other hand, is for the people who live with an alcoholic or addict. It is a support group that helps such people know that they're  not crazy, that they are over-focusing on the addict, and that they need  to do some emotional "detaching" from the addicts' problems. It's free  and it works for many. (Saying these self-help programs are free is not  entirely correct. They do suggest a $1.00US donation to help with  administration fees.)

When an alcoholic or addict comes to work with me, I have developed a firm rule over the years: I will only work with such persons if they agree  to daily attendance to AA or NA. (This is called a 90 & 90: 90 meetings in 90 days.) I've experienced so much failure trying to do therapy without this added support that I won't even try it anymore. They need the daily support or what I'm doing with them will be a waste.

I'm not quite this firm with a person who lives with an addict. I don't absolutely require Alanon. There is a lot we can do that is helpful even without it. HOWEVER, it is SO useful, just as with the addict, that I seriously, if not severely, encourage such persons to make use of  Alanon. I even find people to go with them through the door the first time to make it easier on them.

So,  I am making this very, very strong appeal to you. If you, or a partner, or a friend, have any kind of alcohol or substance problem,  or you are in relationship with someone who does, and there is any kind of organization in your country like I have described above, then go to it and use it!

This is your recommendation, prescription, and advice from a therapist who has tried it every which way with many, many people over many years, and this is the one way that you have a decent shot at making it  work.

Enough said? Then do it!

To Your Success! Steve

 -- Steve Roberts is an experienced Marriage and Family  Therapist who shares tips and real life relationship secrets from over 20 years of practice. Married 28 years to Pam,  his partner in Life and profession, he has personally  known the peaks and valleys of the couple experience.

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I am very happy to share this article with you. Steve Roberts has some wonderul insights into relationship issues and he is extremely generous in allowing other websites to reproduce his articles. I might add that I fully endorse his views on this issue.

If you like what you read here you can subscribe to his free newsletter  Go to

his website http://www.whatworksforcouples.com/

Big Thanks Steve from
John B Nutting

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